God vs. Local Man

I found this story online today. I have no idea where it originated from (I'm guessing the SA Forums) but it's a hilarious (and lengthy) read. I really do hope this is a true story - you can't make some of this shit up.

Psycho nurse begins to shout. She starts to stride. The gap between us is closing. Fast. I am transfixed on her approach. She is the jelly incarnate. Her movements are fluid. Natural Selection has granted her inhuman speed. She is more sugar than man.

“Push me.”

I look at Wheelchair. He wheels himself around in the opposite direction.

“PUSH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.”

Link: God Wants Local Man Dead, Local Man: "Bring It!"

P.S. If you can't figure it out, each instance of "fluffy" in the story is easily replaced with one of my favorite words and the guy sounds a lot less like a fruit.


Also I found this great clip of the best of Conan O'Brien's guests.



Yeah, that's right Conan, show that castaway how it snows!